


Заткнись

by seekingferret



Category: Danger 5
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 12:02:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2850185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekingferret/pseuds/seekingferret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Fic Was Written with the Power of Google Translate and Sleep Deprivation</p>
            </blockquote>





	Заткнись

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Morbane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morbane/gifts).



"Look at that!" Jackson shouted. "The Nazis have Alligator Artillery! Duck"

The team ducked as a gout of fiery munitions erupted from the mouth of the reptilian weapon. Pierre looked around the source of the disembodied quack. They picked themselves up afterward, bickering.

"It's not Alligator Artillery," Tucker insisted. "That is very clearly a Crocodile Cannon. See, look at the long, narrow snout. That's clearly the snout of a Crocodylyus Johnsoni. It's a freshwater crocodile native to Northern Australia."

"тьфу," said Ilsa. "Другой австралиец."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Tucker said.

"She means it's hard enough dealing with one Australian. Duck again!" At Jackson's prompting the team dodged another barrage from the cannon. 

"We can't keep dodging forever," Claire said. "We need a plan."

"Я убью аллигатора," Ilsa said, readying her pistol.

"It's a crocodile!"

"Заткнись!" 

Tucker shut up. Ilsa stood up and fired two shots. The crocodile's eyes exploded, first one and then the other.

"Look what you did," Jackson complained. "Now the alligator artillery can still fire, but it can't aim. It's even more dangerous!"

"At least she did something. All you're doing is lying down and waiting for the women to fix your problems. It's so typical of men. And Tucker's right, it's clearly a crocodile." Claire stood up and fired her own pistol at the cannon. The shot entered its mouth and moments later, emerged at the end of its tail. The beastgun groaned in agony and then died. Its handler, a Nazi officer with a reptile insignia sewn on his jacket, screamed in sympathetic pain and then charged the Danger 5 team with a scythe.

Pierre decided he'd seen enough of the argument. "Friends, friends! Can we all agree that the cannon was a reptile and that we're going to need to stop fighting each other and work together to fight the Nazis?"

"Заткнись!" everybody said, and then they killed some more Nazis.


End file.
